Q=What time is it when you have to go the dentist?
A=Tooth Hurty!
Q=Who likes to drink cocoa?
A= Cocoanut!
Q=What did one eye say to the other eye?
A=Between you and me, something smells.
Q=What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs?
A=Be careful not to step on a poodle!
Q=What is even smarter than a talking bird?
A=Spelling Bee!
Q=Who is the greatest underwater spy?
A=James POND!
Q=What sickness does a martial artist have?
A=Kung FLU!
Q=What happens if you take a one hundred foot dive into a glass of gingerale?
A=Nothing! It's a SOFT drink!
Q=Why did the students eat their homework?
A=Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q=What kind of a storm is always in a rush?
A=Hurry Cain!
Q=Why are there gates around graveyards?
A=Because everybody is DYING to get in!
Q=What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a dog?
A= flying carpet!
Q=What do you call a worm with no teeth?
A=gummy worm!
Q=What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A= nervous wreck!
Q=How did the telephone propose to the lady?
A=It gave her a ring!
Q=What pet does everyone have?
A=An Armpet!
Q=What did the nut say when it sneezed?
A="Cashew"!
Q=What table can we eat?
A= vegeTABLE!
Q=Which is faster: Hot or Cold?
A=Hot, 'cause you can catch a cold!
Q=Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A=To get to the second-hand shop!
Q=Why does "A" look like a flower?
A=Because "B" follows it!
Q=Why did the boy tiptoe towards the medicine cabinet?
A=Because he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q=What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A=I want my "prints" back!
Q=What is a cannibal's favourite game?
A=Swallow the Leader!
Q=Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
A=He was stuffed!
Q=What does a farmer use to count his cattle?
A= COWculator!
Q=Why didn't the skeleton dance?
A=Because he had no body to dance with!
Q=Who won when the two waves raced?
A=They tide!
Q=Why did the boy put lipstick on his head?
A=Because he wanted to make up his mind!
Q=What happened to the dog that swallowed a watch?
A=It got ticks!
Q=Who is the ruler of the beach?
A=The Sand-witch!
Q=Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A=Because he was out standing in his field!
Q=Which cat would you never play poker with?
A= Cheetah!
Q=Why did the kid cross the park?
A=To get to the other slide!
Q=Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
A=Because the captain was sitting on the deck!
Q=What do you get when you a cross a vampire with a snowman?
A=Frostbite!
Q=What do you call a fish without eyes?
A= fsh!
Q=Why did the child bring his dad to school?
A='Cause he had a POP quiz!
Q=When a duck has no money, what does it tell the waiter?
A="Put it on my bill!"
Q=Why doesn't Dracula have friends?
A='Cause he's a pain in the neck!
Q=What did the ocean say to the beach?
A=Nothing. It just waved!
Q=Why was the baby ant confused?
A=Because all of his uncles were ants!
Q=Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?
A=Because then it'd be a foot!
Q=When is a door not a door?
A=When it's aJAR!
Q=Why do people carry umbrellas?
A=Because umbrellas can't walk!
Q=How does the biologist like to communicate?
A=With his cell phone!
Q=When do parents complain because of eye pain?
A=When they have their eye on you!
Q=What's brown and sticky?
A= stick!
Q=Why did Superman cross the road?
A=To get to the supermarket!
Q=What did the football coach say to the banker?
A=I want my quarter back!
Q=Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A='Cause he didn't have the guts!
Q=What's green and sings?
A=Elvis Parsley!
Q=Why is six afraid of seven?
A=Because seven "ate" nine!
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